How to communicate and persuade in three easy steps

Some people are just naturally persuasive: but it’s strange, all the studies show they talk less than others. So why are they so persuasive ? Why do they win a hearing when others don’t ? How do they communicate so effectively ?

It’s by actively listening, and clearly showing they understand others’ pain.

Step 1: They’re properly engaged: You know their whole attention is on you, from eye contact, from posture, their expression. They seem to act like you: their body language often matches(arms in same position, leaning forward/back, etc). Parrotting is critical: they repeat key words back to you, (“… problem ?” “….concern ?”) and you find yourself explaining more and more.

Step 2: They ask short, simple, logical questions, such as who, why, what, where, when, how. They want to fully understand your story, and get to the bottom of the problem.

Step 3: They summarise well: they deliver a crisp and accurate replay to ensure you know they understand. But here’s the twist: your problem has been reframed positively as an opportunity, so the next steps are much clearer.

Three steps to empathy: you know it makes sense.